Todays show was meant to discuss Outer Order Reflects Inner Calm however I tend to write and podcast aligned with how I’m feeling… and although there’s a good little angel on one shoulder telling me to finish the show I’ve already started there’s ALSO a feisty little devil on the other shoulder who’s in:
Self Destruct Mode!
You’ve been there right?
Whatever YOU call it, there’s that sensible, reliable, commendable part of you that knows full well the correct actions to be taking today. If you’re anything like me your angel generally wins out… at least in the areas of your life in which you’re currently succeeding.
However somedays. For whatever reason. Actually often for no specific reason. Even if perhaps there was a straw that broke the camels back on most days that straw would have been tolerable… except today is different!
Today that lil devil is feeling particularly mettlesome. In fact the devils cracked it. It feels trapped. It needs to break free.
It’s Time To REVOLT!
At this point you’re either totally on my team OR you think I’m the one that’s cracked it! Hopefully it’s the former.
If you can relate to the occasional bout of Self Destruct Mode let’s get into solution mode… for both of our sakes:
The first step: Is to recognise that self destruct mode is never rational.
As such you can’t logic with it. The common sense or repercussions based argument just isn’t going to work.
It wouldn’t calm down the devil on your shoulder. In fact it’ll likely aggravate it. And you don’t want to pour fuel on that thing!
So I guess the learning here is that whatever you do next, first acknowledge you’re not currently dealing with your best, most agreeable self.
The strategies that might often work on a regular UN-Ideal Fat Burning Day such as:
=> What do I need to do to feel happy and satisfied at the end of the day? Or,
=> What would (insert the most you most respect) do in this scenario?
Well, today those strategies are likely not going to cut it.
Next step: Uncover what is making you feel so Trapped?
Restricted? Angry? Fed up? And how much of that is within your control to change?
So bare with me here, I’m talking REFRAMES one of my all time fav tools that I do believe you can still use effectively even when you’re in the grips of self destruct mode.
Here’s how it works… In some way you’re feeling whatever you’re feeling. It’s not rational but it can’t and I believe shouldn’t be ignored. So let’s say our particular flavour of self destruct mode today is: a little trapped with a side of angry and a whole heap of fed up. I’m going to keep it simple because I’m not sure about you but my devil is impatient.
You have 2 choices: You can choose to either reframe the content or the context of the situation. At least one of those interpretations IS within your ability to change.
A). The Content Reframe.
The content of a situation is determined by what you choose to focus on. So the questions to ask yourself,
What else could this mean? Or,
How could I turn this into a positive?
For example: When you choose to focus on solution mode rather than extend the devils rampage and then wallow in an aftermath of self-deprecating guilt you can instead this as feedback that you need a holiday?
Even a lovely long weekend. Or perhaps just an extra cheat meal. Or lower intensity workout. Or a 5 hour block each week where you do only whatever YOU want to do.
The meaning is reframed to the positive. You’re taking on and implementing feedback that will surely delay the next onset of self destruct mode… and even if it doesn’t? You’re implementing something enjoyable, positive and sustainable into your routine.
B). The Context Reframe.
Almost all behaviours can be positive or useful in some context. So the question to ask yourself,
In what situation could this be useful or have value?
For example: When you analyse the contributing factors that led up to this current self destruct mode situation it’s actually super useful to know what they are so that you can do your very best to avoid them happening again.
Perhaps your food has just been too restrictive. Maybe you’re sleep deprived. Working too hard. In need of a holiday. Focusing on everything that’s taking more time, energy, money than it should rather than consciously focusing on everything that’s gradually improving and absolutely gratitude worthy.
As such your (my!) current behaviour isn’t merely a disappointing-outta-control-off-the-rails-freak-out… It certainly does not mean all momentum is lost. Or that you’ve given up. Or that the devil has won.
Perhaps it’s just a little letting off steam so that you can come back stronger, more focused and committed to the best course of action tomorrow.
The final step: Is a little negotiation with the devil.
It needs to feel like it’s won… even if it hasn’t.
This is where you indulge a bit in whatever it is you feel an all consuming need to indulge in. With volition and without guilt. You want to choose the better bad. So maybe it’s taking the night, The Day, A WEEK off. Only you know the full extent of the opportunity cost you pay for your indulgence.
And to be clear maybe we’re talking time off work or time off a habit or time off best case scenario food or time off your perfect alcohol quota. So you’re flirting with the devil here and of course it’s a little risky however here’s how I mitigate it:
A). Be specific so far as how much and when and what is enough so far as yanking yourself right out of self destruct mode. You simply cannot slip into self destruct without boundaries. That’s when the damage will be detrimental.
B). Cultivate gratitude for the break to routine / the pure indulgence / the freedom of self destruct mode AND ALSO cultivate gratitude in advance (so to be specific think of and consciously focus on) everything you have to appreciate so far as the actions / opportunities / results your normal sensible, reliable, commendable self gets to experience.
To get actionable today… I’m breaking the routine. I’ve got no specific action for you. However as always I would love to hear from you in the comments below. Perhaps you could let me know about the last time you needed to REVOLT! And how you handled it?
That’s it for me today. I hope you can join me for the Friday FAQ show where I cover: 5 Ways To Eat Less Meat Without Sacrificing Protein.
If you liked this you’ll also like: Help with fat loss when it’s not so much fun anymore!
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