Wow, so we are truly on the home stretch! Today is #9/9 – the last in the ‘Silence Self Sabotage’ series.
I want to thank you for your commitment and perseverance. By the time you’ve completed all the actionable exercises in this series you will have an incredibly thorough step by step system to follow. You’ll be as prepared as you can be with strategies and tools however I need to let you know that from time to time negative emotions are still going to show up regardless of your level of preparation and the strength of your mindset.
This is natural and the thing to realize is these negative emotions are actually here to protect you. They all stem from the fight or flight response that we discussed earlier. As such an understanding of the action signals that negative emotions are sending you will allow you to turn your lemons into margarita’s so to speak!
Today we’ll cover how to:
- Let your negative emotions propel you forward.
Here are 5 Mindset Messing Emotions that specifically with regard to body gain will hold you back if you don’t first acknowledge and then utilize them. And how to utilize them? Glad you asked because I have 10 Power Emotions to help you combat those miserly 5 once you’ve grabbed the lesson.
Let’s start with the 5 Mindset Messing Emotions though:
1) Disappointment: that crushing feeling of being let down with the belief that you’re going to miss out on something forever.
First step is to think of what you can learn from the situation?
Maybe it is that you stick to a training regime more effectively when you have someone to hold you accountable – now you know that for next time. Perhaps it’s that you are better off exercising on your own as a canceling training buddy can see your best resolve flying out the window too.
Next it’s time to set a new goal. Maybe a new short term goal that is aligned with your bigger body gain goal and make sure it’s even more inspiring.
=> This is where the power emotions of EXCITEMENT & PASSION come in. Realise that nothing is ever for ever. Rather than sinking to: “Why did this happen?” (notice how at effect you feel as you ask yourself this question) instead approach the situation with an at cause: “How can I turn this around?” attitude and have the patience and stick-ability to develop an even more effective plan.
Then take action with that excitement and passion and an attitude of positive expectancy for the future results to come.
2) Inadequacy: that crippling feeling that you don’t have the confidence, information, understanding or strategies for the task at hand.
First step, check that your perception is actually correct?
Perhaps you’re getting ahead of yourself? If not, appreciate that if a lack of resources were reason enough to hold you back you would have never learned a new skill in your life.
It’s time to gather those additional resources so that you are well equipped for the task at hand.
=> The power emotions to embrace are CONFIDENCE & DETERMINATION. Know that determined people begin their success where others end in failure. The metaphor that speaks best to me of determination is the metamorphosis of caterpillar to butterfly. To see the butterfly attempting to break free of it’s chrysalis is to witness both huge struggle and massive determination and it is only the struggle the extreme effort and hardship it takes to break free that forces the life blood to flow and full development of the butterflies wings that enable it to live and to fly.
3) Frustration: this used to be a favourite energy sapping emotion of mine – I did it especially well!
Until I heard Tony Robbins describe frustration as an action signal that you believe things could be better.
It’s a signal that’s it’s time – right now – to make it better.
=> The empowering emotions to enable this are the absolute CURIOSITY to explore new options and FLEXIBILITY to try new ways to get the result.
4) Fear: our old friend fear can be paralyzing – actually a physiological response as well as psychological.
Why not short-circuit this freeze by changing your physiology?
Additionally, it’s useful to realise fear is often the result of ignorance – bare with me – by this I mean if we have limited information our doubts dominate us, we become tense, we fear the unknown and we avoid trying something new.
As Mark Twain said “I’ve had thousands of problems in my life, most of which have never happened”!
Here is the solution: First think about the situation that is causing you fear and decide what you need to do to prepare for it and handle it most effectively. Gathering better information increases courage and confidence.
=> Melt the freeze by immediately taking that first action with a heart full of power emotions GRATITUDE & APPRECIATION.
5) Overwhelm: that feeling of helplessness when you think of all the things that you have to do or cannot control.
First step; break the situation into manageable bite sized chunks – remember 1 day at a time or even 1 meal at a day. Focus on what you can control and determine what is the ONE most essential next step to focus on right now, and take that step.
Realise that the structure of overwhelm is generally a list of around 10-15 to do items – and if you were to get them down on paper (instead of chaos circling round your head) there would more likely be around 20… surprisingly that realization actually tends to see overwhelm diminish!
=> The power emotions to combat overwhelm with are the strongest of all: LOVE & CONTRIBUTION. Isn’t it true that when you are absolutely focused on another and what you can give to them, your own worries and self-absorption seem to magically disappear?
Another useful strategy to effectively handle these and other negative emotions is to consciously become aware of the rules you have created to experience them.
As you will remember back in show #302 we looked at the rules you have created to experience your values. Those values were the emotions you want to experience. Essentially your moving towards values. You rewrote the rules to make them easy to achieve… well, we can do a similar thing with negative emotions.
You will have a number of negative emotions that you most strongly do NOT want to experience. For example mine are inadequacy, frustration and overwhelm. I have listed a whole lot more on action sheet 3 – of course there are literally 100’s. The process is the same: first decide your top – let’s say 3 negative emotions and put them in order.
These are your moving away values. The trick is to write some rules, say 3 for each that make these emotions harder to experience. You want to make these rules really unappealing so you can easily make it tougher to experience these emotions.
Here’s an example: I experience overwhelm whenever I choose to focus on what I can’t control… I experience overwhelm whenever I doubt my ability to always step up and back myself 100%… I experience overwhelm whenever I focus purely on myself rather than the value and contribution I can give.
It’s almost time to bring to a close this Silence Self Sabotage journey.
This week in shows #307 and 309 we’ve been designing the structure, the standards, the perfect day blue print – now all the pieces fit together… however there is one last important consideration. You know what you want and the steps to take.
It is crucial to be clear on what you intend to give in return.
I like to think of this as your commitment to yourself. To use an un vego analogy let’s talk bacon and eggs. The chicken is participating – the pig is committed!
To me this concept – which I heard 1st from Napoleon Hill – recognizes that there are meant to be tough times. Times which could even be seen as failure though rather should serve as a challenge to even greater effort. Personally, I keep this one simple, it’s my last point in my Fat Elimination acronym (as covered in show 307): Never start to make excuses because where would I stop. I’ve left some space for you to write what you intend to give in return for the attainment of your body gain goal – your commitment to yourself.
Perhaps the great oil man H. L. Hunt who was at one time the richest self made billionaire in the world put it best when asked his secrets for success. He sad there were 3:
One: To decide exactly what you want.
Two: To determine the price you are going to have to pay to get what you want and most importantly
Three: To resolve to pay that price.
In the same way that most people know what to do and just don’t do what they know – most people want roughly the same things in life. Everyone wants to be successful, healthy and happy – however, how many people hold back, willing to pay part of the price but not the whole price. The take home here is there is no room for excuses or rationalisation. Be willing to pay the price, whatever it is and for as long as it takes, until you achieve the results you desire.
It’s time to get actionable.
So either you’ve got your all your action sheets complete or perhaps you’re about to make a start on them in one massive-time-of-the-actionable-session! Either way is just fine and regardless I strongly recommend you take the time to listen to this podcast series multiple times because we’ve covered a lot. If you’re yet to start with the action sheets – I’ve been including them separately as they relate to each show however here are all 3 as one PDF download: Action Sheet #1,2,3
In addition, if you’ve found this series of value I would truly HUGELY appreciate you sharing it with someone dear to you. That’d mean a lot to me. Thank you.
As we finish today and this week in Healthification here are 4 final considerations or more so 4 solutions to keep the momentum flowing if you hit a hint of stuck so far as getting and staying actionable with the simple not easy steps to Silence Self Sabotage:
1) Always look to introduce more choice. Limited choices can lead to indecision and a lack of action. Flexible thinking and the imagination can solve any challenge.
2) Change the meaning you’ve placed on something if it’s not getting the result you want. It is absolutely your choice what you chose to make exercise, nutrition, health and even your body mean – ensure the beliefs you’ve created for yourself are the beliefs that will sustain you as you achieve your body gain goal.
3) Ask yourself when / how / who told you to believe that? Or how do you know that to be true? Question that which does not serve you. Quite often merely asking the question will reveal the lack of validity in the belief, other times it will reveal the secondary gain that you have been subscribing to and that it is time to let go of.
4) Reconnect with a lost resource. No matter what your current obstacle is, in some aspect of your life you’re already doing / achieving that which is a challenge here and now in relation to body gain. Get curious and find that reference point for success and use it to your advantage. This point is true of every single person, without exception.
If you liked this you’ll also like: Smart Simple Fat Loss: How To Define Your Goal (part 1 of a 6 post series)
If you’re yet to share the Healthification love – just click here to zip over to iTunes and leave an honest rating and review. It’d help me out big time. With gratitude, Kate.