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There’s something that you and I both do… if you’ve a chick you’re probably a little better at it than the lads, however it’s not really something you want to be good at.
What have girls been naturally good at since school?
The comparison game.
It’s not a fun game, so todays show is dedicated to escaping: The Comparison Trap.
The danger here is this can put you at a weakened position where you are all to aware of your own vulnerabilities, challenges, ‘to work ons’… and yet ignorant of everyones else’s!
We all put our best foot forward right? We’re less inclined to share the ‘failures’ and stuff ups. If you compare your struggles with the high-light reel of someone else’s life its the perfect excuse to never even try – because you’re starting at such a massive disadvantage.
Equally it’s all to easy to compare where you are right now with someone who may be enjoying greater success because they’ve been at it a lot longer.
You’re stacking the odds to your disadvantage when you compare you at the beginning of a journey or start of a goal with someone who has already pushed through that frustrating momentum building phase and now seems to be cruising.
It’s that old plane analogy… it takes a lot of effort – fuel – as the plane is racing down the runway to take-off.
Once the plane is in the air it’s a whole lot easier though. Maintaining the momentum – be it our plane, or in business OR maintaining your goal health is vastly less effort.
Beyond that you have reference points for success to build on once your maintaining. Your know what success looks like.
So, back to our natural inclination to play the comparison game and how to win it…
Instead of thinking it’s easier for her because she’s thinner, fitter, more disciplined consider how much easier it has become for you than it was when you first started.
Or, if you’re at the very beginning of your journey and it feels like it’s never been harder then how about comparing yourself to the chick who does not even get a chance to work on improving her health. It’s a little over used however that doesn’t make it any less true, having the time and money and freedom to work at improving your health is a first world problem.
There will always be someone fitter, younger, richer, more popular, more successful, better connected… and that could be overwhelming right?! You can always improve on your best. That is Freeing. Your best comparison is YOU yesterday. That’s all you ever need to improve on. And heck, if you have a mega-catastrophe-type-beached-whale-inhaling-food-on-the-couch-blow-out-day… the great news is you get another chance. It starts at your very next meal or the very next second as you decide to throw on your gym gear and get your butt out the door.
3 considerations to make the comparison game work for you:
1. To be able to compare YOU to you requires tracking your progress. If you don’t it’s way too easy to forget just how much progress you’ve made.
2. When you do find yourself comparing YOU to another person,
A) Look for the things they do well that you could implement sustainably into your routine. This is calling ‘looking for the catch’ and you can do it in a limiting ‘Why can’t I have that?’ way OR you can do it in an empowering ‘How can I make this work for me?’ way.
B) Take a look at where they started from. I guarantee it’ll turn them from daunting to inspiring because they had to put in some hours to get to this point.
3. Turn jealously or envy into gratitude and appreciation. The value to this is 3-fold.
A) You have someone to model… it’s hugely valuable to have access to examples of how you want it to be. It’s fuel for your success if you choose to see it that way. How hopeless would life feel if there were no examples of something more to strive for? I hate the thought of that.
I remember back at school when I looked at the slim fit chicks and wished I looked like that. Now I wasn’t ever fat, however I was definately out of proportion and highly average. The thing is wishing got me exactly no where.
I wished and I made excuses.
It was only years later when I actually looked to the chicks that had the physique I wanted with appreciation that I started to become aware of the changes I needed to make. I saw them as role models and respected the amount of effort I knew they made. Bit by bit my mindset switched from ‘Why can’t I?’ excuse mode to ‘How can I?’ lets make this happen mode.
B) You have less fear… the antidote to fear is gratitude – as I mentioned in episode # 011 you cannot deal both at the same time, so the more gratitude you allow into your life the less fear you will experience.
C) It’s more fun… Jealously and envy are zero value emotions. They mean you feel rubbish and they make you less fun to be around. They also build on themselves.
Ok, let’s make this actionable.
I’d love you to think of one aspect of your health in relation to your mindset or in relation to your food or in relation to your exercise OR ALL THREE in which you’ve made some great progress from this time last year.
I know you have these reference points for success. To build on them, takes consciously focusing on what you’re rocking at – rather than ignoring them and giving yourself grief for what you’re yet to do or what other people are doing better.
Todays quote is courtesy of Albert Einstein: “Everyone is a genius but if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it will live it’s whole life believing that it is stupid.”
I LOVE that quote.
We all are unique in our body-type, lifestyle and our abilities and ALSO in our beliefs, passions and goals.
Where could the value possibly be in comparing yourself to someone else? Stop competing with others and start competing with yourself. Be your healthiest you to live aligned with your individual beliefs and values and to make yourself proud.
That’s it for today. Thanks so very much for spending this time with me.
If you liked this you’ll also like: Massive Mistakes & Tiny Tricks to Lean Living (stolen from Jumbo & Atom).
If you’re yet to share the Healthification love – just click here to zip over to iTunes and leave an honest rating and review. It’d help me out big time. With gratitude, Kate.