The other day I bought a new pair of shoes and the guy in the sports store was asking me about what I do…
“Yeah you look like a trainer” he said “So tell me, what can I do to get rid of my gut… I hate my gut so much I want to kill myself”
Yes he did say that. No I don’t think he meant it in the least as after hearing that it’d come down to food rather than wishing, wanting or even exercising a bit he exclaimed: “Oh no I just love pizza too much… I guess I don’t really want it enough right?”
So, just imagine my slightly dramatic friend at the sports store did want to get rid of his gut here are the steps he could take, the steps YOU can take with any destructive behaviour – in today’s show I’m covering how to:
Fix Self Destructive Behaviour (7 steps).
Step 1: Acknowledge the problem.
Sounds simple right? However I know if there’s something I’m doing that’s not working for me I have a tendency to ignore it… it’ll come to front of mind and then I’ll immediately send it shooting off back into those “let’s not deal with that” recess’s again. Ignorant bliss. Except it’s not blissful. Which leads us to…
Step 2: Allow yourself to feel the pain.
Pain is a powerful motivator. When it comes to body gain the less pain you need to push you into action the more successful you will be. So you want to find that ‘jeans a little tighter’ scenario painful. Rather than wait till you’ve gradually gained 10-20 kilo’s before you feel pain. The 10-20 kilo scenario is going to be a lot more work to fix – you’ll have acquired plenty of destructive behaviours by that stage… however, if you snap into action as soon as those jeans are mildly-muffin-top you’ll be back on track in no time.
It’s also absolutely within your control to increase the intensity of the pain your current situation is causing you.
One of my favourite methods is to FUTURE PACE myself to where I’ll end up if I don’t take action. Make no mistake, complacency will not lead you to stay at your current weight – complacency means more fat, less energy and a whole lot more pain. Imagine how you’ll look and feel 3 months from now if each week you chuck on just a little more fat.
Now, imagine trying to squeeze into those jeans in 6 months time… and finally how about 12 months from now?
How are you going to look and feel in 12 months if week by week you’ve chucked on just a little more fat?
It’s likely a painful picture – and as such super useful to utilise.
Step 3: Create a supportive environment.
Environment trumps willpower every time. My supportive I mean you want to remove the things that tempt your self destructive behaviour and also introduce the things that fight your self destructive behaviour. For example:
=> Evict the refined carbs from home and office and stock up on easy to prepare alternatives.
Whether it’s snacks or main meals I’ve covered them all in previous shows so here are some helpful links:
Tuesday Tucker, Lean, Clean Breakfasts:
Tuesday Tucker, Lean, Clean Lunches:
Tuesday Tucker, Lean, Clean Dinners:
=> Replace danger zone outings – like all you can eat meals out with alternatives where it’s easier for you to make good choices. Perhaps Japanese, or a restaurant known for their seafood or even great steak.
=> Focus on spending time with the people that support you and respect your decision to fix your self destructive behaviours. As fab as it would be if everyone was naturally supportive that’s not always the case. You can’t control how another person behaves however you can control how much time you spend with them – especially in the early stages of your commitment to fixing self destructive behaviours. Which leads us to…
Step 4: Commit 100%.
As we covered last week in the #173 show: before you commit 100%, YOU MAKE IT harder than it is!
If you deploy a half-hearted wishy-washy attempt you get all the work and none of the results.
In the same way that if you save for that dream holiday some weeks and then spend that saved money other weeks you don’t get to enjoy the holiday – it’s the same with body gain – the double disheartening whammy is that in addition when you don’t commit 100% and you don’t get results you start to doubt that you ever can do it.
Which leads us to…
Step 5: Start small and achievable.
One of the most limiting aspects that can keep you stuck in the body gain game is a lack of self belief. Unshakeable self belief is possibly the best advantage you can give yourself. To build that self belief, conspire for your success by starting with an easy win. You’ll build on it. Small positive steps will compound. For example:
=> If beer is your weakness perhaps swap first to low carb. Or aim for 1-2 alcohol free days a week if you currently have a daily drink. Or even aim for 1 less drink a day. There are limitless positive steps and the important thing is that you want each step to be sustainable long term. I’m really not a fan of the zero beer for 30 days and then just as much (or more) on day 31. What’s the point? Whatever was causing you pain about your beer consumption is going to be an issue again sooner than you can say vodka-sparkling-mineral-water-fresh-lime-and-fresh-pink-grapefruit-rocks…
Step 6: Reframe negative self-talk.
We all have that self destructive nagging little voice that likes to point out all the obstacles and the evidence to support how hard it’s going to be or perhaps how you’ve failed in the past. The great thing is, you can shut that voice down immediately – and you should. If you listen to the voice it’ll get stronger. If you make the effort to reframe it every time it turns up I guarantee it’ll begin to turn up less and less. For example:
=> When your negative nagger voice tells you “Why are you even bothering with the fish when the pizza sounds so mush yummier and you know you only ever last a couple of weeks before you give in anyway?” …shut that voice down with: Every great meal I choose makes the next great choice even easier.
Step 7: Learn from your lapses.
A lapse never need mean it’s game over. You don’t fail at replacing a self destructive behaviour simply by returning to it. You always get another chance, so understand what caused the lapse and plan how you can avoid it next time.
Rather than focusing on the potentially daunting and even unsustainable approach of never doing that thing again (!) focus on getting back on track immediately. It’s not about never making a mistake it about what you do after that mistake – do you wallow in guilt and let it turn into a downward spiral or do you take responsibility and choose that next positive step?
To get actionable today, obviously I’d love you to take a behaviour that you consider self destructive and apply all 7 steps to it. That’s the ideal however I have a smaller action for you too… and that’s to just get rolling with step 6.
To, reframe negative self-talk. Whatever that habit that you’re thinking of right now is – even if you’re not currently up for all 7 steps – it’s time to start shutting down the self talk that is holding you back and replacing it with supportive self-talk that will propel you forward.
To finish today’s show I have a quote from the Dalai Lama. Although this quote discuss’s ‘real tragedy’ which no matter how much you love pizza giving it up could never be called a tragedy – despite that there is wisdom to be applied from this quote: “When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways – either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.”
That brings us to the end of todays show. I’ll be back tomorrow with the Tuesday Tucker show and: Healthy Holiday Season Treats.
If you liked this you’ll also like: How To Cut Carbs To Lose Weight
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