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This weekend I caught up with a dear friend and her fiancee who I hadn’t seen for a couple of months.

After a lovely evening I left feeling refreshed and grateful. It got me thinking about how vital it is to be selfish so far as who you spend your time with. Especially your free time.

In todays show I’m weighing in on:

3 People To Spend Less Time With.

And also 3 People To Spend More Time With.

Let’s start with the 3 people I’d love you to see less of.

One: The Sly Belittler.

Now this friend / colleague / or family member may fly under the radar a little.

Just a barbed remark here and there.

“Wow, you’re not having any fries – but you’re looking so skinnnnny recently!”

Perhaps, “Surely you can skip the gym / your diet (your commitment to yourself) just this once?”

Ok, so the sly belittler would not say “your commitment to yourself” that’s Kate talk however here’s a glue: They can take something positive – anything positive – and give it a negative spin.

Fit and lean becomes skinny.

Eating planned nutritious meals and avoiding processed crap becomes a diet.

No harm intended right?

Wrong!

Although the Sly Belittler’s remarks are a result of their own insecurities they still have the ability to eat away at your resolve.

It’s really not worth the aggravation. When you can,

choose instead: The Genuine Feedback Giver.

This is the individual you respect who also respects you enough to tell you how it is. When appropriate. With tact… or at least as much tact as you need. They have your best interests at heart and really that’s all.

There’s zero ulterior motive or benefit to them except that they want to see you succeed.

So maybe they gently give you the heads up that it’d be good to spend a little more time with your friends. They don’t rip apart the way that you’ve been spending your time. Or insist you need to live as they do.

They just point out in a – Hey do you see this… are you aware of what’s happening? – sort of way and then trust YOU to make the best decision.

Two: The Bad Influence.

This person is a little more obvious. Perhaps it’s your party friend. Your pizza friend?

And to be clear in the end each decision you make is your responsibility alone… however, it’s also your responsibility to recognize if every time you hang out with a certain person or group of people you fall off the wagon so far as the commitments (Body Gain or other) you’ve made to yourself.

Of course the bad influence friend is often fun.

It’s fun at the time however: Do you have regrets after hanging with the bad influence friend? Even does this friend live the life and have the results you’re seeking?

I know I’m sounding a little strategic – re friends – so here’s my caveat:

If you’re in such a non-negotiable great routine with your exercise and eating that your party – pizza – or whatever it may befriend has no power of influence over you, then it’s all good!

If you’re still struggling to make your best habits stick though,

choose instead: The Instant Inspirer.

You feel great the second you see this person. I guess their attributes need to reflect the values that you most covet however personally my instant inspirer is: relentlessly focused, has a calm self certainty and is crazy passionate-Positive-PROACTIVE so far as achieving her/his goals.

They are generally too busy doing to have time to criticize others.

Sending time with the Instant Inspirer reaffirms your commitment to your goals. They don’t lead a fake-fairytale-fantastically-farfetched life… they simply stick to some great habits and in doing so give you the proof that you can too.

Three: The Energy Vampire.

In contrast to the Instant Inspirer you feel a sapping of energy the second you see this person. It’s exhausting.

It can be tempting to try and help the energy vampire. Perhaps you even feel righteous (if wiped!) after hanging with them.

The thing is, you only have so much energy and discipline in a day.

If you’re sacrificing it to the energy vampire – or to a pack of them! – then you have less to devote to your goals.

It’s great to be helpful however: Do you find yourself saying NO to you and your goals after spending time with the Energy Vampire?

If you answered a resounding YES,

choose instead: The Comfort Zone Crusher.

Now this person is like the Instant Inspirer however I find them a little more challenging to hang with. In a good way. A slightly uncomfortable way.

That goal you had, that seemed like a fair bit of work? The Comfort Zone Crusher will 10X it.

Or perhaps just show you a whole new perspective. Personally, as an introvert who gets pretty drained after spending hours with others (that’ll sound weird to my extrovert friends however I’m sure fellow introverts will understand!)… I need to be in the right frame of mind to handle the Comfort Zone Crusher.

When you are in the right frame of mind, time spent with a Comfort Zone Crusher will encourage you to step up. To push yourself out of safe, comfortable and potentially status-quo-STUCK!

You likely encounter each of these people in many areas of your life.

Socially. In business. At the gym. Hopefully not at home.

To get actionable today I’m certainly not recommending a massive friend / colleague / family member culling! However perhaps start with one reoccurring weekly encounter with either:

One: The Sly Belittler.

Two: The Bad Influence.

Three: The Energy Vampire.

And look to swap it out for time spent with:

The Genuine Feedback Giver.

The Instant Inspirer.

The Comfort Zone Crusher.

I know I’m making it sound a tad easier than it is. The Instant Inspirer is probably the easiest person to seek out online if you don’t have an inspirer in your life right now. Here’s a link to show #159 on: Who I Turn To For Exercise Inspiration.

That’s it for me today. I hope you can join me for the Friday FAQ show where I share: 6 Tips To Increase Your Willpower.

If you liked this you’ll also like: Dracula’s Best Weight Loss Advice:

If you’re yet to share the Healthification love – just click here to zip over to iTunes and leave an honest rating and review. It’d help me out big time. With gratitude, Kate.