Do you know the difference between failing and failure?
Failing is finding out what doesn’t work. Failure is giving up. I LOVE that.
I heard the best story about a online dating start up recently. Now 10 years ago this site was set up as a way for singles to view videos of other singles and make a connection. It was a huge flop. People certainly didn’t want to meet via videos however they did enjoy sending links of these singles to their friends… as a bit of a laugh.
I didn’t pick the failing dating site that didn’t give up. Perhaps YOU have though?
It was You Tube. Yes, a decade ago, Jawed Karim uploaded “Me at the zoo” to his brand new dating website, www.youtube.com.
Karim even had a slogan for the dating site: “Tune in, Hook up.”
Of course the adage “There’s no such thing as failure just feedback.” is overused. However that doesn’t make it any less true.
In todays show let’s chat:
Failing v Failure.
It really doesn’t matter how you choose to view or to reframe failing as long as you settle on the way they allows you to keep trying. To never give up. At least as long as something is important to you.
As always I want to make todays show applicable to your body gain goal. Specifically I have 3 steps to see failing as freedom and failure as NOT AN OPTION.
I’m pretty passionate about this.
Regularly I meet people who have a debilitating fear of failing at achieving their fat loss (or Body Gain!) goal.
They let their fear of failure hold them back.
If that is you. Or perhaps, if you’ve lowered your standards? Perhaps the goal you’ve slipped into is maintenance, to just: “Not get any fatter” even though really you’d love to instead be: In the best shape of your life!
If that is you, then listen on…
Step one: You Need To Let Go Of EGO.
Now this is freeing. Do you know how much ego holds you back?
It’s that annoying little voice that whines: “But what if it doesn’t work?” “What will people think if I can’t do it / stuff up / make an idiot of myself?”
Ego’s job is to keep you safe. However not safe in a good way. Safe in a debilitating STUCK at status quo way.
=> the mindset to nurture in step one as you let go of ego is: What will I think if I give up on me?
To be clear, by ‘I’ I mean YOU!
What could possibly be more important than backing yourself to achieve your goal regardless of how long and how many failed attempts it takes?
Step two: Get Awesome At Finding The Lessons In Failing.
One of the things I love and hate about body gain is there is no ONE way. Your options are basically limitless. Each time you encounter an approach that doesn’t work for you brings you one step closer to the approach that does.
=> the mindset to nurture in step two as you find the lessons in failing is: Each time something doesn’t work out as planned and I pick myself up, take on board the feedback and try again more wisely is proof of just how determined I am to achieve my goal.
Even, each obstacle you encounter – and don’t get stopped by – is an obstacle that someone else has been defeated by.
Equally, each obstacle you encounter – and don’t get stopped by – is an obstacle that someone else has defeated and that means you can too.
Step three: Don’t Be Held Hostage By Time, or History.
Who made up the rule there’s a deadline on success?
Or that your past results need have any impact on your future results?
If you want to choke your chances of achieving your goal go ahead and chuck an unrealistic timeframe on it and then judge yourself a failure when you miss the self imposed timeframe.
That’s sounds hugely UN-fun right?
=> the mindset to nurture in step three as you break free from the constraints of time and history is: This is important enough to me to stick with it as long as it takes.
Here a few tactics to make ‘as long as it takes’ a little more doable:
- Make the journeyas enjoyable as possible. So in part this is about adding things that are fun (so maybe choosing the form of exercise you most enjoy) and equally it’s about focusing on what could be fun.
- Make a conscious effort to track & acknowledge your progress. Both so far as the changes in fitness, strength & body composition & perhaps even more importantly so far as the positive habitsyou’re creating.
- Further to this focus on how far you’ve come rather than how far you have to go.
- Also seek out the examples of people who were not an overnight success (in body or business)… andwhen you dig a lil 99% of success was not overnight despite the first impression you might get.
- Finally, remember all those things you had to work hard for– that didn’t come easy – that you stuck with as long as it took… that were absolutely worth the effort.
To get actionable today lets go with step one. That’s where you let go of Ego. What is one aspect of achieving your body gain goal where Ego is holding you back?
=> Perhaps you’ve tried the same old strategy time and time again without success & it’s time to ask for help?
=> Maybe it’s time to step onto the weights floor but you’re afraid of looking out of place?
(If that’s the case please check out show #039 on 6 Reasons To Not Be Scared Of The Weights Floor)
=> Possibly it’s as simple as being the odd one out asking for an adjustment to the menu when eating out or declining dessert or whatever it may be that feels a little awkward the first few times yet, please trust me, 100% only gets easier.
That’s it for me today. I hope you can join me for the Wednesday Weigh-in show. I’m covering: How To Conquer Indecision.
If you liked this you’ll also like: Do you fear failing at fat loss?…lets flip it to “Freedom”
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