Now it starts to get exciting (!) we’ve laid the ground-work and now its times to align your body gain goal or even more importantly the experiences that you will enjoy once you have achieved that goal with your Values which determine the decisions you make and the actions you take.
Today is part 4 in the ‘Silence Self Sabotage’ series.
So to recap, in shows #300, #301 and #302 we’ve covered:
- The #1 Thing Preventing You From Having Your Ideal Body Now. That’s: MINDSET.
- The 1st Success Strategy. That’s: You Must Take CONTROL Of How You Interpret Your World.
- The 2nd Success Strategy. That’s: What You FOCUS On Is What You Get – To The Exclusion Of Everything Else.
- The importance of LANGUAGE… in shaping your body and your world.
- Why GOAL SETTING Doesn’t Always Work… and what to do instead.
Today we’ll cover how to:
- ALIGN Your Goal with Your Values and Beliefs.
In doing so we’ll also complete Steps One and Two of ‘Silence Self Sabotage’ and that’s: DEFINE & ALIGN.
I’m going to commit now too… back in show #300 I shared that the audio version of ‘Silence Self Sabotage’ is a bit of a beast. Yes, a BIG generous-friendly-type-of-beast however nonetheless perhaps a little daunting to be consumed in one go… So in this revised podcast format I’m locking in my commitment to 10 parts. Part 4 today will as I mentioned complete the first two steps where we DEFINE & ALIGN your goal with your values and your beliefs.
Next week shows 305, 306, 307 will cover steps three and four of Silence Self Sabotage, that’s: ELIMINATE & EDUCATE. Why what you’ve being doing doesn’t work & what to do instead.
Finally, shows 308, 309, 310 will cover steps five and six of Silence Self Sabotage, that’s: STRATEGIZE & PRIORITIZE.
A system to ensure you can enjoy sustainable health & vitality.
One last thing before we get getting, I trust you’ve downloaded the action sheet to support this series and are filling in the time of the actionable questions? Or that if you, like me are a little impatient and like to listen to something the whole way through and then go back and complete the exercises – well if that’s the case I trust that you will do that!
For when you need it that action sheet PDF lives here Silence Self Sabotage:
All right, let’s do this…
I’m going to give you an example of exactly what you need to do and then it’s time for you to ditch me and complete this exercise with your own goals and values.
So let’s take imaginary person Thomas. Thomas has a goal to lose 27 kg’s. He’s very clear on when he wants to be there and what weight he’ll be when he gets there. He’s also very clear that even more important than being his ideal weight is the fact that he will once again be able to run freely like he used to. Thomas stopped trying to squeeze into even his ‘fat’ clothes a long time ago and running is not possible let alone the pleasure it used to be. Perhaps the most compelling part of Thomas’s goal is that he really wants to start a family and he hates the thought of not being able to run around with his kids – or even of his kids being embarrassed by their dad or worse as the doctor just mentioned perhaps he won’t even be round long enough to see his kids grow up if he keeps heading in this direction.
Thomas’s top 3 values are Freedom, Love and Contribution. Now there are limitless ways we could look at this and the thing is to chose in your own situation the approach that best resonates with you. Beyond all other possibilities that exist in relation to how Thomas currently defines and experiences his top three values as our focus right now is on fat loss (body gain!) let’s consider his current approach that has been keeping Thomas stuck.
Starting a new exercise regime and diet is viewed as restrictive, limiting, boring, and regimented.
Wow, can you see how everything that currently comes to the forefront of Thomas’s mind when he decides to start his health kick is in direct conflict with his primary value of Freedom. There are two conflicting parts – let’s say Thomas has a little angel on one shoulder who knows that he really should make some changes. That exercise can be enjoyable once you get back into the swing of it, and a lot of healthy food actually tastes pretty ok and gosh it certainly would be fantastic to have back that body and the energy he had in his 20’s.
However on the opposing shoulder the flip-side of the coin is that dark and heavy, mischievous little devil that’s saying ‘Hey just relax, you only live once – you need to enjoy yourself, you deserve to be free to eat whatever you choose and beer and burgers with the boys are a whole lot of fun.’ With mixed emotions and 2 separate sets of instructions to act on it’s no wonder that the result is at best a stop, start completely inconsistent and ineffective approach to body gain and at worse absolutely no movement to take action at all.
Thomas’s brain is confused, right now there is both pleasure and pain associated with his goal and they are both pulling in different directions. He needs congruency and a clear set of instructions and only then will his brain throw the full force of it’s effort behind helping him achieve his goal.
It is possible to change the neuro-associations about what means pain and what means pleasure and achieve congruency in a moment and it can be as simple as choosing a different way to look at the same information. What if being at his ideal weight and level of health meant that Thomas got to enjoy the Freedom to power through every single day with genuine confidence and abundant vitality. If the heavy weight of not living to his full potential or the suffocating veil of past failed attempts and the future fear of failing again was lifted for good and replaced with the knowledge that he lives every day congruent with his ideals and as an inspiration to his friends, family and future children.
Does that describe freedom on a much deeper level than merely the ability to eat take-away when ever you choose and do whatever your mates are doing? How about if Thomas knew Love as the ability to spend the most quality time possible with his friends and family and to be in peak physical health enabled this quality …100% present and energized time, rather than sinking down in front of the TV each evening, exhausted as his body weakly struggles merely to battle through the working week on poor nutrition and infrequent exercise.
And what if Contribution became the ability to add value to all those Thomas comes into contact with on a daily basis …to his friends and family as we have discussed and also in his career. What good are huge, inspiring goals to contribute if you do not have the energy to make these goals a reality?
So the alignment we’ve just discussed is about breaking free from the immense frustration, the wasted time and the wasted money that comes from being stuck and incongruent. I’ve talked about utilizing the full force of your brain or mind to effect this change and the potential to do this in an instant. Now I’d like to briefly emphasise just how massive this widely untapped resource is. It is now extensively acknowledged that our unconscious mind accounts for 96-97% of our total mind.
That means that only a mere 3-4% of our mind power is that which we are conscious of. This conscious part, is the captain on the ship so to speak, the part that gives the orders or sets the goals. The crew on the ship – who make things happen – who do all the work THAT is your unconscious mind. To stretch the analogy: Can you imagine how smooth the sailing would be if the crew were in mutiny – correct, not very smooth and that is exactly how it is for way too many people.
They are not even aware of the awesome power of their unconscious mind, let alone in rapport with their unconscious mind and utilizing it’s amazing resources. To give you some further clarification of exactly what your unconscious mind does – that 96-97% of your mind that perhaps you’ve been unaware of until now… Here are just a few of the things it does:
=> The Unconscious Mind runs the body. Now this is is easy to appreciate, how could we possibly remember consciously to walk and breathe and swallow and everything else that just happens automatically?
=> The Unconscious Mind enjoys serving and it needs clear orders. We touched on this earlier with the puppy dog analogy – your unconscious works 24/7 to deliver to you whatever it is that you are focusing on.
=> The Unconscious Mind stores and organizes our memories and The Unconscious Mind will repress memories with Unresolved Negative Emotions AND it will also present repressed memories for resolution.
Have you, like me ever had a particular challenge repeat itself time and time again? This is your unconscious telling you that you are ready and have all the resources you need to deal with this challenge. It’s a poorly wrapped gift and the gift is that there is something of value to be learned. If you do not learn this lesson – it’s going to continue to be given to you time and time again until you do!
There are so many more things the amazing unconscious mind does (for further information you could do a google search on the prime directives of the unconscious mind) however for now the final one I’d like to mention is…
=> The Unconscious Mind is in charge of instincts and generating habits. Let’s look at instincts first like the Fight-or-Flight Response. If you are threatened, the flight or fight response will kick in and you’ll choose either ‘fight’ or ‘flight.’ You will either get safely out of the way, by doing ‘flight’ or you’ll stay there and fight.
Secondly the Unconscious Mind is also in charge of generating habits. Now these can be Good or Bad habits. Typically the Unconscious Mind will need repetition, until a habit is installed. How much repetition?…well sadly good habits tend to be hard to make and easy to keep (think a regular walk first thing each morning) where bad habits tend to be easy to make and hard to keep (think a chocolate fix at 3.30-i-tis time each day).
Although a habit can also be changed in an instant. If years of eating your favourite fried chicken is a habit ingrained since childhood that can not be changed in an instant – I’m curious if you were to bite through that crispy skin and straight into a pussy, bloody abscess – how quickly would that weekly habit be annihilated? I thought so!
Let’s move on, here we are with a specific and compelling goal – emotionally charged and in the implementation section you will align it with the Values that are the foundations of your life – the core centre of the decisions you make and the actions you take. To add even further fire to your burning desire to hit this goal I would now like to link in your Identity Beliefs.
Now I’ve said that your values are at the absolute core of everything you do or don’t do. WELL your identity beliefs are just as powerful – they are what you believe to be absolutely true about yourself. These are beliefs that you will defend to the end and as such they are our most sensitive belief if threatened (think of a time when someone really, seriously pushed your buttons – 99% of the time you feel a strong reaction you will be defending something you believe to be absolutely true about yourself – perhaps that you are a loyal person or that you are a devoted parent) these are identity beliefs.
Now, as with any beliefs they are possibility filters and completely made up. Also as with any beliefs it does not matter what is right, true or real (our unconscious does not differentiate between these anyway) what matters is does the belief get the results you are seeking? Is it effective? Your identity beliefs can be utilized to create huge leverage to ensure you stay on track with your goal – as Tony Robbins says “One of the strongest forces in the human personality is the drive to preserve the integrity of our own identity.”
Contrast the identity belief that ‘I am an individual who refuses to conform to society’s fickle stereotypical ‘ideal’ body image’ with ‘I am an individual that see’s keeping in peak physical health as a reflection of the discipline, dedication and respect I have for myself and my body’. Two differing beliefs – neither right or wrong – however one will ensure that losing weight is always a battle and one will ensure that staying in shape is a natural part of day to day life.
It’s actionable time again… todays action step is to take some time to consider your true identity beliefs. Once you have them you will know if they are the beliefs you need to achieve your body gain goal OR if it’s time to create some more empowering, more aligned and congruent beliefs that will propel rather than hold you back. Again, I’d like to suggest that it is not a matter of changing who you are – it is a matter of getting really curious and finding the way to look at these beliefs so that they will get the results you want. Of course it was easy you’d be there already – you’d already have the body, the energy and the life you desire and deserve.
Listening is the easy bit. The results come when you put your mind to work and come up with the strategy – the interpretation that best resonates with you. No two people are going to be compelled or inspired by the same drivers. Our goals, values, beliefs and experiences of life are all different as are our interpretations of what means pleasure and what means pain. Of course it would be tediously boring if it were any different so I’ve given you the tools and now it is time to go make them work for you.
That’s it for me today… and for another week in Healthification. I hope you’ll join me for Part 5 in the ‘Silence Self Sabotage‘ journey with show #304 on Monday.
Super huge heart felt thanks to you for listening and especially to YOU if you’ve left me an iTunes rating and review.
If you liked this you’ll also like: How to use your Identity Beliefs to Fuel Your Fat Loss.
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