The question that inspired todays show jolted me right out of my delightful-day-dreaming while making meals on mass the other day.
I have Dave Logan to thank. This was his parting advice shared on episode 863 of Entrepreneur on Fire… I’m curious to know if it resonates with YOU as it does with me?
To quote Dave:
There was a deal that your made with yourself a long time ago… and if you think about it – you’re going to think of that right now and then you’re going to immediately say “Oh that’s not it” – no that actually is it – go back and revisit that piece of advice.
It’s the key for the problem that you’re facing right now.
To cruise back into Kate mode: What was that deal you made with yourself a long term ago?
AND, How is it not currently serving you?
Today I want to weigh-in on: The Deal You Made With YOURSELF …Yes, that one that it’s time to ditch!
I guess I wouldn’t really be sharing if I didn’t come clean with my deal.
The one that jumped out at me as I heard this question – the one I thought “No, that’s not it” and also knew “Yes, that IS it” was,
That I Can Do It ALL On My Own.
Whatever YOUR deal is, I’m guessing there will be similarities so far as what caused each of us to make the deal, what keeping it is costing us and what you and I both stand to gain from revisiting and likely ditching that piece of advice.
I’m going to use my personal experience as the example and trust that I’ll uncover some insights of value to you too.
One: What caused you to make the deal?
There’s a fair chance it was to avoid PAIN.
Whether that’s the pain of rejection. Of failure. Of being vulnerable and taking a blow to your ego.
It’s a natural reaction right?
Whether it’s someone letting you down and you decide: That I Can Do It ALL On My Own.
Or whether it’s a goal you didn’t achieve or something you wanted and didn’t get and you decide: That I Won’t Give It My 100% Again.
You can imagine either of these statements might be applicable to health or business or relationships.
You staunchly erect protective walls. Now these may be personal walls – business walls – or they may be walls that more resemble a ceiling you’ve built over yourself to cap your own goals and aspirations. Your walls may have been built unconsciously however that doesn’t make them any less limiting.
They keep you STUCK in your safe, boring, risk-free comfort zone.
Two: What keeping the deal is costing you?
The funny thing is in seeking to avoid Pain and Failure and in looking to protect your ego and not be vulnerable the cost is
PLEASURE. And likely success. Even love and connection.
=> If you have big business goals an obsession with doing it all on your own: Is NOT Serving You (or me!).
=> If you have any goal holding that “I didn’t give it my all so it’s not failure” card: Is NOT Serving You.
When you look at the person who has achieved what you want. Be it in health or business or relationships. Can you honestly say they did it on their own? Or they didn’t give it 100%? Or any other of the limitless deals you may have made with yourself that is not currently serving YOU?
Three: What you stand to gain?
The obvious stand to gain is a solution to the problem you are currently facing.
Beyond that is the insight that you can choose the beliefs, the deals, the rules – whateveryou want to call them that support you.
Equally that there is no right of wrong so far as the beliefs you choose.
There is only what works.
The simple thing to consider, that deal you made with you a long time ago:
How’s It Working For You?
AND, how does that compare with what you stand to gain if you take a risk and step on out of your comfort zone. It’s scary I know. I’m here with you.
=> Rationally knowing that Vulnerability is strength and still struggling to act on it!
=> Clear that Failure isn’t final and doesn’t define me and still not keen to embrace it!
=> Certain of the limits that being controlled by Ego enforces on me and still moving slowly in letting go of it!
As is often the case with the weight-in show I may have raised more questions than given implementable action steps.
You may completely disagree with me too. And if so, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
I absolutely don’t have all the answers however I did want to share a question that truly struck me.
To get actionable today, I’d love to know your deal: What was that deal you made with yourself a long term ago?
If you’re willing to share that is. You can let me know via the show notes below.
If you liked this you’ll also like: How To Program Your Thoughts To Create The Fit, Lean, Healthy Body You Were Born To ROCK 24/7 365 Days.
If you’re yet to share the Healthification love – just click here to zip over to iTunes and leave an honest rating and review. It’d help me out big time. With gratitude, Kate.