(that’s how one of my ex’s used to say it – like it’s a dirty word)

Who here is in a relationship?

So.  Who ever looks at your single friends and thinks “do they really want that relationship like they say they do?”

That’s what I sometimes think about weight loss goals.

Where you are spending your time, energy, money is a reflection of what you’re currently committed to.

Perhaps you’re staying up till 12 each night, watching TV, clocking up hours on the internet

…and then hitting the snooze each morning?

Or maybe you work 7 days a week, exercise & plan your meals like a person possessed

…and never get out to meet new people?

What you’re willing to do is a reflection of how much it means to you.

“I’ll eat ‘healthy’ as long as I can choose what I most feel like on the day => and it is ready prepared => wherever I happen to be => and I don’t have to plan it.  

Oh, and no tuna.  Or green veggies.  I Hate cottage cheese.  I Have to eat potatoes.  

No, I don’t like vodka…I’m a champagne girl.  Oh, perhaps vodka and cranberry.  In a tall glass.  With lime cordial.  I Need to eat dessert when I’m out for dinner.  And pasta if it’s Italian.  I couldn’t possibly refuse anything my mother-in-law serves, cooking is how she shows her love….”

Seriously though.

As I hear all of the above, you’ve likely heard a list at least as long from your single friends with an Impossible Criteria.

In either scenario:

=> if you’re focusing on what you don’t want

=> if you’re completely inflexible with unrealistic expectations

=> if you’re choosing to spend your time, energy and money elsewhere

…well you’re likely getting exactly the results aligned with your current actions => whether they’re what you say you want or not.

So Let’s Get Into Solution Mode!

(for the weight loss goal – the relaaationship stuff, I’ll leave that to someone better qualified)

If you’re sorta wishy washy about what achieving something will mean to you, the attempts you make will be absolutely wishy washy.

Further to that.  If you view your goal as in conflict with your Values, fair chance you’ll barely bother even trying. (your values are those states/emotions you naturally seek out above all else)

You don’t have to change your values.  Or your goal.  You just need to change your current Ineffective Interpretation of how your goal is conflicting/incongruent with said values.

For Instant Commitment to Your Goal.

Get clear on how your current Behaviour is incongruent with one or all of your values.

An example?

I’ve got you covered, but 1st let me explain the Why.

Even if you’re crystal on just what you’ll be able to experience when you achieve your goal…how much more freedom, confidence, energy you’ll have…the effect it’ll have on all those you love….All the benefits that will be coming your way.  This is vital – however – it’s all about Future Based Incentives.

What if the scale doesn’t move after your most disciplined week with exercise & nutrition?

It can get disheartening.

This is where I like to utilize the power of the Instantaneous Incentive.

Regardless of the Result I’m seeing, I’m going to stick with a course of action that allows me to experience rather than deny one of my top values.

(that example) Given ‘Integrity’ is a key value for me.  My instantaneous incentive is that drinking beer and eating hot chips is incongruent with my belief that as a fitness professional I need to ‘walk the talk’ (and it needs to be visible that I do exactly that).

I don’t get to experience ‘Integrity’ when I put that stuff in my body.

It’s not about waiting for the results of poor nutrition to show on my body.  As always it’s about my Mind knowing I’m in danger of being incongruent and that knowledge keeps me ‘walking the talk’ so that I never get to experience those poor results.

Back to you.

On reflection you’ll be aware of exactly what actions or INactions are responsible for any results you’re not yet achieving with your health.

Your mission is to find the way (and there Always is one) to view this current behaviour that you want to change as in strong conflict with a value you hold dear.

Yes, it’s a manufactured interpretation.  Manufactured to get you the result you want.

What you’re willing to do is a reflection of how much it means to you.

How creative are you willing to get if it allows you to experience daily those emotional states you’re naturally drawn to while simultaneously achieving your health goal?