Congruency is one of my business values. Its’ pal, and partner in keeping me true to my own standards, integrity, is a personal value.
Today I’ll share how they both help me achieve my health goals… and more importantly, how you can ensure congruency is propelling you towards your ideal health rather falling victim to common in-congruencies that may have kept you stuck with poor weight loss results.
In-congruencies likely happen at an unconscious level.
You may say ‘Health’ is of vital importance to you.
However the actions you take day to day depict a different story…. not that health isn’t important, more-so that there are many other things that take priority.
Habits that are ingrained at an unconscious level… and just seem to jump in your way!
=> saying Yes to whatever tempting food is passed your way.
=> finding yourself in your car before you even remember you were planning to walk.
=> fossicking mindlessly through the fridge after dinner.
The thing is when you have an in-congruency so far as what you say you want to experience (for example achieving that goal you can consciously think of) and the actions/habits you then unconsciously take that will never deliver this result, it means your conscious and unconscious mind are in conflict rather than working together.
And you are wasting energy managing this conflict.
Emphasis on ‘wasting’ because it’s not like you’re spending your energy on an awesome weights session, or quality time with loved ones or delivering a first class experience to your clients… you’re wasting your energy on GUILT.
Potentially traveling down the self belief eroding path of questioning “why can’t I ever get it together” or “what is my problem?”.
And you know your unconscious mind LOVES questions. It’ll go to work 24/7 to find answers to both of those questions. Answers that are completely void of value.
Can you imagine how much easier – and more FUN – it is to get your powerful unconscious mind on board with all the amazing goals your conscious mind is so good at setting?
Regardless of any belief, you can find evidence to support it.
It’s all a matter of what you filter in and what you filter out.
Let’s delve deeper into this process, which happens unconsciously though you can be more conscious about it and enjoy better results…
Each moment your 5 senses are hit with 2 million bits of information. To survive, you must choose what you let in & what your disregard. You first filter 2 million bits of info to 134 bits & then further to just 5-9. So lets say you end of with 7 chunks of info each moment. The 7 you choose are a reflection of your beliefs and your experiences… or more so what you make those experiences mean.
We can further break the ‘filtering’ process down into what you:
Delete: ignore or shut out info.
Distort: misrepresent reality to create your own interpretation of the info at hand.
Generalize: to bring together info & give it the same meaning for ease of interpretation.
AND you can do each resourcefully (to your benefit) or un-resourcefully (to your detriment)
(Examples to come)
So if I believe that to excel in my career MEANS demonstrating congruency so far as walking the talk (the way I look and act and the actions I take on a day to day basis to be able to look and act that way) that is a belief that compels me to take the actions I need to take.
=> I’ll filter in all the evidence of the trainers that practice what they preach with 100% congruency and are excelling in their career…. or generalize that they are in fact 100% congruent in their actions.
=> Equally I’ll filter in all the evidence of those out of shape, out of energy, soon to be out of work trainers… and delete evidence of the out of shape trainers that are killing it in their career.
=> I’ll distort to suit my belief that I must walk home from work every day or else I’ll get into the habit of getting a lift with any kind client that offers… and that habit will lead to me getting out of shape!
Important caveat #1: if ‘excelling in my career’ isn’t important to me, then the above belief will hold little value. I won’t care if I’m not walking the talk.
How about if YOU were to believe that to be the most positive role model to your child or the most effective, efficient and successful in your career, MEANS attaining a healthy level of body fat, fitness and energy?
If that is a blah example to you, then it’s time to find the words to describe being in whatever level of health you are currently striving for – and to link that level of health to something that is of vital importance to you.
In doing so you will be utilizing the natural human need to be congruent with what we believe about ourselves.
Let’s test it. Think of one of your top personal values, perhaps it’s Integrity like me, or maybe Trust or Generosity or Compassion? Whatever resonates with you.
Last time that was questioned – either with validity or as an absolute misunderstanding, just how fired up did you get?
If you believe you are a person of integrity and someone questions it, you fire up right?
Equally, if you believe you are a person of Integrity and you do something plainly lacking in integrity, you feel like rubbish right?
The only way to feel good again is to immediately resolve the situation. To fix whatever integrity violation it was and to ensure it doesn’t happen again.
WOW, so that’d be a pretty powerful attitude to have surrounding your health goal wouldn’t you say?
Important caveat #2: the ‘human element’ involves adding a degree of sustainability.
Back to my ‘walk the talk’ example… for me, so far as food that means I eat amazing food 90% of the time. Because I’m human (!) I need 10% of the time off the plan. That’s just one of my own personal rules. Some people go with 80/20 in which they eat awesome only 80% of the time. No right or wrong it’s just what works for me. To feel happy and satisfied with what I’m consuming AND to feel congruent that I’m walking the talk.
I just mentioned ‘my own personal rules’ and I highly recommend you devise your own rules to support living congruently with the beliefs you are choosing.
So, back to the belief that to be the most positive role model to your child or the most effective, efficient and successful in your career, means attaining a healthy level of body fat, fitness and energy:
=> Your actions steps for today are to devise your personal rules that you will follow to attain a healthy level of body fat, fitness and energy.
They might include the fuel you consume… and when you prepare it.
The frequency, time and type of exercise you engage in.
The conscious focusing on everything that will make taking the actions you know you need to take easier AND the conscious deleting/distorting/generalizing and reframing of anything that would have made taking those actions more challenging.
Once you are diligent and consistent enough at focusing on something consciously, it will become unconscious AND a vastly more powerful and easy habit… you will have your unconscious mind aka: goal-getting-machine working congruently with your conscious mind aka: goal-setting-machine.