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I’m usually very much a choose-my-mood chick.
I think basically any situation can and generally should be reframed to either appreciate and benefit from the potential learning or simply just to allow you (and the people around you!) to have a more enjoyable experience-Day-LIFE!
I decided to make a conscious effort to Choose My Mood when I became a personal trainer. I know sweating it out at the gym can be somewhat uncomfortable, potentially intimidating and often UN-fun so at the very least I want to ensure my clients enjoy their every interaction with me even if they don’t love their every step or every rep of the work-out I’m putting them through.
The funny thing is the person who benefits most from my choose-my-mood approach is: ME!
However like any good habit, you can take it to the extreme. I do extreme well. Often it works for me however todays weigh-in show is a bit of a RANT. I’m NOT going to Choose My Mood I’m going to embrace my highly-unimpressed-ness.
Not purely for the sake of the vent. I think there’s value in knowing when it’s to your greater benefit to NOT choose your mood.
First up let’s set the scene.
I’ve been advertising with Facebook for a number of years now. The cash-o-la I’ve spent would amount to many lovely overseas holidays however I chose to prioritise building my business. Over time as various algorithms, best practices and RULES began to change – often daily – I never jumped on board the I-Hate-Facebook for making me pay to reach my fans band-wagon.
I’m happy to pay for a resource I judge to be valuable.
That’s how the world works. If some thing was free and now it’s not I’m going to focus on being grateful for how it was free and how it’s still good value rather than whining about the good old days.
That is until my advertising account got paused. Indefinitely. And I wasn’t given a reason. And I wasn’t given a response – at-all-ever – to the 6 extremely humble, exceptionally grateful and exceedingly polite emails I wrote to find out what I needed to do the right whatever wrong doing I’d unknowingly committed in The Land Of Face.
To my mind that’s beyond disappointing and downright-RUDE-ARROGANT-DISRESPECTFUL!
I initially turned to the reframe solution of: “Well just think of all the money I’m saving” …however that didn’t really resonate as I believe you need to invest to grow.
So then I took another reframe for a spin: “Well this gives me a solid reason to get awesome at google Adwords or perhaps YouTube or even Pinterest advertising” …however as true as that may be the fact remains I was still really annoyed.
So I set about working out why.
I figured there was a greater lesson… and perhaps that lesson wasn’t about what good can come of having the brakes slammed on a fan page that I’ve posted valuable content on well over 1,000 days in a row without-fail-ever.
What if the lesson is in the value of embracing your emotions rather than just muscling-on-through with a positive mindset?
Here are three things to consider if you’re faced with a situation which really feels like the best solution might NOT be to Choose Your Mood.
Perhaps your inclination is to RANT and perhaps that is A-Okay!!
One: Often the thing that really riles you, IS YOU. To one extreme or the other.
So, to further explain you might get annoyed by the person who exhibits the same weakness as YOU. Is weakness the right word? Not sure, however you’ve caught Kate in a rare non-choose-my-mood day so let’s go with it!
A personal example, the thing that would make my dad the most frustrated with me as a teenager was when I would make the same mistakes as he did. I didn’t get it. I needed mum to point it out to me. He saw his faults in me and that was hard.
So that’s one extreme. The other extreme is when there is something you hold super dear, perhaps a value or personal identity belief. Possibly, something like: INTEGRITY. RESPECT. Even FREEDOM and when that is the case you’re fairly likely to get riled when someone or possibly The Book Of Face disregards that.
Two: RULES can rock, however they need to make sense. To be consistent. To be communicated effectively.
I accept it’s a companies right to choose their rules, however inconsistent rules and zero communication is frustrating. The value in this
realisation is that when you find yourself in such a situation it’s probably a waste of energy beating your head up against the wall hoping for an answer.
You can’t change the way someone responds (or doesn’t respond!) to you however absolutely you can take your time, energy, money and passion elsewhere.
Three: There’s value in experiencing your emotions. In acknowledging them. Understanding them. Feeling them – not languishing in them however experiencing them uncensored – then learning from them AND MOVING ON!
I find the things I block are the things I hold on to. It actually takes a lot of energy to have a feeling rise up and to smack it back down again without acknowledging it… until it rises up again a little more insistent and then again that little more insistent….
In that way perhaps feelings are like lessons we keep getting delivered until we learn from them?
I don’t have the answer. I’d love to hear your opinion though?
Do you have a RANT thats costing you too much energy to keep in? Perhaps a lesson to be learnt or just a feeling to be felt?
I want to finish today’s show with an almost-acronym (!) and a couple of examples applicable to body gain.
When you think of your RANT… that one you’ve been holding in – choosing your mood – do you feel:
T.O your benefit or to the greater good to choose your mood?
If that’s the case it could be time for a little rant. In contrast:
The rant there is NO value in and the situation when choose your mood IS to your benefit might be:
=> Throwing on a couple of jackets, loading up a great podcast and setting off for your planned walk even if the weather is less than ideal. You are in control of when and how you exercise, not the weather… and if you’re physically able to walk then that’s well worth a good mood. I reminded myself of that as I walked to work in a lighting storm this morning!
And the rant there is NO value in and the situation when choose your mood IS to the greater good might be:
=> Keeping your frustration to yourself the next time you’re stuck in line and perhaps using it as a chance to remind yourself of 3 things you’re grateful for and one way you really rocked yesterday in relation to achieving your body gain goal.
What if everytime you were stuck waiting for something became a chance to focus on your gratitudes and references points for success? WOW, maybe I’d even look forward to my mostly-on-hold phone conversations with my phone and internet service provider!
To get actionable today, I’d love you to think of the last time you had a little rant.
Now perhaps you feel better for it and if so that rocks. If not – because I know I feel bad if I rant when really there’s no need – then is there a way to choose your mood instead?
The goal I’m working towards is knowing whether it’s The Rant approach or The Choose Your Mood approach that’s to your benefit or to the greater good…. and to make my choice with volition rather than reactively.
That’s it for me today – I’m off to check out some training on Pinterest advertising. 🙂
I hope you can join me for Friday’s show: How To Engineer Your Unstoppable Belief Cycle.
If you liked this you’ll also like: Un-Fun & Glum doesn’t have to last: 4 ways to Choose Your Mood.
If you’re yet to share the Healthification love – just click here to zip over to iTunes and leave an honest rating and review. It’d help me out big time. With gratitude, Kate.