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If you could have any learned skill bestowed upon you – no limits – anything that you currently admire in another human what would you choose?

To be the most likeable? Most loveable? Most fearless? Or funny?

A genius networker? Or brilliant business woman? Or perhaps a master Magician? Musician? Martial artist?

Of course your options are limitless. I think my learned skill of choice would be an awesome ability to always, Choose My Mood.

In todays show: Choose Your Mood Revisited, I’m applying the 3 step Stop, Start, Continue formula to the skill of choosing your mood.

“Yeah, ummm well I’m alright I guess, for a Monday.” 

What the heck is that rubbish? I’ll tell you! It’s the self perpetuating language that’ll lead to more of the same. A cycle of glum and UN-fun both to be and absolutely to be around! 

As I had a client share with me today: “I wish I could turn my mind to the positive as it’s great at thinking of all the negatives and it’s really powerful!” 

Whether you want to use the worn phase Positive Thinking or the equally cheesy Choose Your Mood I believe there’s a misconception keeping many people (like my dear client today) stuck. It’s the idea that change for the better can be a once off decision that happens in a instant.

If only it was as simple as: “I’ll just Choose My Mood!”

Unfortunately it’s more a series of steps implemented, adhered to and then constantly reassessed and refined that helps you be able to Choose Your Mood. That’s where the Stop, Start, Continue formula comes into play.

First up it’s a matter of deciding what’s working?

Step One: The working Habits / Relationships / Big Rocks you want to CONTINUE.

So these are the things that help you feel happy, healthy, energised and effective.

Here are 3 examples:

• Continue daily meditation, exercise and meal planning.
• Continue making non-negotiable high quality focused time for friends and / family each weekend or even each day. 
• Continue constantly looking to upgrade your meditation, exercise, nutrition habits and also the quality of the information you consume. 

To dig a little deeper with that third constantly looking to upgrade example, I’ve been plodding along with 10 minutes meditation each morning for a couple of years now. I recognised and benefited from the value of that habit and yet knew there was more. Last week I discovered a new meditation on the free app I’ve been using on and off and it rocks my world! I LOVE this meditation. I look forward to it every morning and if something happens that makes it a little extra challenging to choose my mood I’ll just take an extra 10 minutes to meditate again.

It doesn’t mean you’ll love this meditation like I do. Of course you might so I’ll give you the details in a moment however the point is to: never get complacent with a habit that works yet could be even better. I certainly didn’t love the first swampy mud green smoothie I made. And my first vegan omelette was absolutely a disaster… Here are those meditation details: the app is ‘Insight Timer’ the actual meditation is ‘Morning Ritual’ and it’s produced by ’The Meditation House.’

Next it’s time to evict / upgrade what’s not working?

Step Two: The Energy and Joy disintegrating things you need to STOP.

So these are those things that cause you feel frustrated, overwhelmed, lethargic and ineffective.

Here are 3 examples:

• Stop setting yourself up to lose the Choose Your Mood game (!) by depriving yourself of a decent nights sleep and by inflicting a poor quality breakfast on your body. 
• Stop giving your time (and discipline) to commitments or people that you regret or resent. 
• Stop giving your energy to thoughts (and self talk) that cause you pain and anxiety. 

Let’s dig a little deeper with that second giving your time (and discipline) to commitments or people that you regret or resent example. I’m perhaps too good at not being trapped by this one! I do know a few super loving, generous and overly self-less ladies who over commit themselves regularly. They are so generous with their time for other people that they run out of time and discipline for themselves. Of course it’s admirable to be generous however the signal you’re over-doing it is when you feel resentment or regret at what you’re missing out on.

Now it’s a matter of implementing some effective alternatives.

Step Three: The ideal Habits / Relationships / Big Rocks you want to START. 

I think most of us have a fair idea what habits we could implement to enjoy feeling more happy, healthy, energised and effective. Perhaps it’s just that there are so many potential great habits that will make it easier for you to excel at choosing your mood – where do you even start?

I would say start small. Manageable. Make it easy for you to succeed.

Here are 3 examples:

• Start asking yourself: “How’s this working for me?” when you find yourself not choosing your mood. 
• Start reframing automatic negative thoughts. 
• Start doubling down on your positive thoughts and gratitudes evenif you have to manufacture them to start with. 

Let’s dig a little deeper with that third doubling down on your positive thoughts and gratitudes example. The natural inclination for most of us is to double down and focus on those negative thoughts that we all have. In contrast, what if you were to reframe those negative thoughts (side note: The Reframe is one of my favourite tools that I’ve podcaster about previously here:)

and direct more emphasis to your positive thoughts and all you have to be grateful for? 

I genuinely believe this is one of those rare deceptively simple strategies that actually works. When you start focusing on the good stuff you just feel better. It’s always your choice. And as the Germany Kent quote so wisely asks: “If you’re not grateful for what you already have, why should you be blessed with more?”

To get actionable today, if you’d like to be able to Choose Your Mood more effectively I hugely recommend trying the 3 step Stop, Start, Continue formula. Not using my examples however thinking of 3 examples of your own for of the steps. So to recap:

Step One: The working Habits / Relationships / Big Rocks you want to CONTINUE.

Step Two: The Energy and Joy disintegrating things you need to STOP.

Step Three: The ideal Habits / Relationships / Big Rocks you want to START. 

That’s it for this week in Healthification.

A super huge thanks to you for your support and for sharing this week with me.

If you’ve enjoyed this show and gotten value out of it I’d super appreciate it if you pop over to iTunes and leave me a review. It helps other people find Healthification and it really does inspire me to power on with the weekly episodes.

If you liked Choose Your Mood Revisited, you’ll also like: Un-Fun & Glum doesn’t have to last: 4 ways to Choose Your Mood.

If you’re yet to share the Healthification love – just click here to zip over to iTunes and leave an honest rating and review. It’d help me out big time. With gratitude, Kate.